Teen mentality moment #467:
Me--(to child who has yet to brush hair and teeth or put on shoes) You need to leave for the bus in 5 minutes.
Kid--I got this. Watch and be amazed.
6 minutes later:
Kid--Mom, I need a ride to school.
Me--You missed the bus. How amazing!
Sarcasm probably isn't the most dignified response to modern dilemmas, but it's certainly the most satisfying.