Monday, August 26, 2013

Jules 0, Coaster 1

Before school started today [insert crazy mom happy dance here] Big&hairy and I took the girls on a long weekend to Dallas. Never been, but I have a mad love of good barbecue and people who call me sugar, so Texas it was. We visited an aquarium, saw some jellyfish, got the Julian Smith song stuck in our heads and had people shoot us "you folks are crazy" looks as we kept singing it, beat boxing with all the aplomb of white chicks from the 'burbs.

Take some jelly, take some fish, put it in a sandwich, delish...

Our weekend was filled with fishies, legos, water parks with rides so insane I actually screamed (on a water slide, of all things!) but what got me to finally admit defeat was...Six Flags over Texas. I'm ashamed to admit this, but it claimed my unbeatable record of conquering every coaster I see. Snarky is an enthusiastic companion, and we were hitting those rides like mad while Big&hairy and Sparky did their own thing...until the Texas Titan.

That's it. That's the one that got me.


Thanks to this bad boy here, I blacked out. TWICE. Seriously. The G-force was so intense on low, banked curves that I lost vision in one eye while odd, yellow, geometric shapes spun in my field of vision against a black, fuzzy background, and the other eyeball fought valiantly to keep me in reality as everything faded and I mumbled to myself, "don't leave, don't leave, don't leave." TWICE.

I hate to admit it, but I might be too old for this sort of thing. I think our next long weekend will include lying on the beach and reading something not to taxing. Now pardon me while I go yell at some young hooligans to get off my lawn.