Monday, August 10, 2015

Sometimes You're Batgirl and You Don't Even Know It

This place has been having some crazy weird weather lately. I live in a desert, you see, and we've gotten about four inches of rain in the last week.

Weird, right?

Last Monday we had high drama in the neighborhood, when three of those inches ran down from the foothills, collected quite a bit of mud and debris, and flooded two houses directly west of us thanks to poor drainage on the other side of the fence (our north boundary is also the border with another city, which apparently doesn't have the same strict standards for storm drainage that tiny weird town has). We built this home recently, and we have yet to put in a yard, so there was an awful lot of mud to go around.

On Thursday it rained again, and this one felt like it blew in from nowhere. I had to go to the store for more diet coke (because I'm addicted, but you already knew that). The gray, dark storm clouds gathered overhead in the two minutes it took to get to the store. By the time I opened my door, the wind hit and I almost couldn't get out. Right as I slammed my door with much generous assistance from the wind, a huge gust blew the lids off all the garbage cans in the parking lot. Three more steps and some more wind, and every single loose cart starts rolling at demon speed toward parked cars. One more huge gust and three garbage cans blew over and into the street. One of them got picked up by the gust and headed straight toward the windshield of a minivan driving toward me. As the can flew past, I grabbed it right before it hit the van. The minivan dwellers looked quite amazed as I snatched it from mid-air and saved them from certain doom.

I hope they fully appreciate how ninja I am.

By the time I picked up my diet coke and maybe some ice cream (because I'm addicted, but you already knew that) it was full-on torrential downpour in the parking. All the people I'd seen pause when I ran in from the wind were all there, waiting and watching because they're cowards, along with a couple dozen more people who had completed their boring transactions (they probably bought almond milk and granola, the hippies). They all stood around, watching the rain. I give this storm mad props--I've lived through several hurricanes, and this was close to Cat 1 intensity in terms of wind and rain. I watched for a few minutes and told the people who'd struck up a conversation with that I'd lived in Florida and I could take it. And I didn't want my ice cream to melt. I took off my shoes because I knew they'd get flooded anyway, and walked through the rain to my car. It was painful--horizontal rain and high wind pelting my skin. In the 15 seconds it took, I was completely soaked. As in, rain water dripping from all my nooks and crannies wet.

I regret nothing.

Okay, so maybe I wasn't really Batgirl--I was too drenched to be anything other than Aquaman, and even then it's questionable. My quads aren't that great and I can't rock a speedo over tights like he can.